So.
After a rather intense discussion yesterday with Keith and a few family members about what I plan on doing to get a steady income, I've decided that I'm going ahead with my plans to make and sell bags.
I'm also going to try to get a job. I'm looking at something part-time, hopefully with flexible hours, nothing too out of my league... I don't want to go back to cooking, but I will if I have to. I'll hate it and want to quit every single day, but perhaps being in that situation will encourage me to work harder at this bag thing.
Ha. Ha. Who am I kidding? I'm a sucker for punishment and tend to stay in jobs that I despise for years. I quit the ones I like too soon and often regret it the second I leave.
I'm not giving up the graphic design thing, either. I've come to realize that the market I'm in is quite saturated with designers and I'm nowhere near the skill level of many of them. The ones who call themselves 'designers' and use Microsoft Publisher to produce their friend's wedding invitations are the ones I would be competing against, sadly. I live in a community that is very incestuous - it's all about who you know and what family you're from. I have the experience, but I don't work at one of the big print shops or know the movers and shakers, so I'm SOL for the most part. However, there is a bit of interest with the wedding stationery designing I'm offering. My mom's asked for samples to show to some prospective clients and the big wedding show is here next weekend - and I will have flyers in the goody bags of one of the bridal shops in town (thank you, Keith). So maybe I'll get some jobs from that.
With everything that's been going on lately, I feel like I'm in a much better place in terms of the future. The last thing I want to be doing is something I don't enjoy or can't be successful at, but I still need to help pay bills and put food in Maddy's mouth. It's hard coming to the realization that your plans are not going to go exactly the way you want them to, but I certainly do not plan on giving them up entirely. No matter how many fights or sleepless nights I have because of my decision. Do I think I can be successful? Yes, but everyone thinks that when they start out with some new initiative. My difference is I'm damn well going to be successful. Anyone who doesn't believe me can go poison someone else with their negativity because I'm sure as hell not going to take it anymore.
Push came to shove
Well, after denying reality for a month, it looks like I'm going to have to get a job. A real, out-of-the-house job that pays really, really well. There's a couple in town that I plan on applying for, but I'm not holding my breath. If I have to work at a job that pays minimum wage, I may as well work 2 just to make ends meet. I hate this feeling of defeat and have almost convinced myself that it was a massive mistake to quit my newspaper job.
And I've changed my plans for the crafty-like stuff I'm going to hopefully produce and sell. I've decided that I'm going to make bags.
Quite the change from the graphic design plans I had yesterday, I know, but I know I can make (design and sew) bags for sale. I'm going to do reusable shopping bags to begin with, and then move on to lunch bags, messenger bags, kids' bags... it is entirely possible that making and selling bags will be more profitable than graphic design. Keith thinks that one could lead to the other, and it could... I guess. Once I get the hang of screen printing, I could - theoretically - design my own prints. I also need a bigger workspace to do screenprinting as we live in a tiny, 700 sq. ft. 60+ yr old house with virtually no storage. It's awesome. (I do like my house, but it is small. I fear I will end up on Hoarders one day because someone will mistake our stuff for a severe mental disorder.)
I just want to be happy with what I'm doing. I like being at home, taking care of Maddy, but I have to be productive while I'm here. And until I start getting paid to keep house, I guess I'll have to face facts and start the job hunt. Again.
And I've changed my plans for the crafty-like stuff I'm going to hopefully produce and sell. I've decided that I'm going to make bags.
Quite the change from the graphic design plans I had yesterday, I know, but I know I can make (design and sew) bags for sale. I'm going to do reusable shopping bags to begin with, and then move on to lunch bags, messenger bags, kids' bags... it is entirely possible that making and selling bags will be more profitable than graphic design. Keith thinks that one could lead to the other, and it could... I guess. Once I get the hang of screen printing, I could - theoretically - design my own prints. I also need a bigger workspace to do screenprinting as we live in a tiny, 700 sq. ft. 60+ yr old house with virtually no storage. It's awesome. (I do like my house, but it is small. I fear I will end up on Hoarders one day because someone will mistake our stuff for a severe mental disorder.)
I just want to be happy with what I'm doing. I like being at home, taking care of Maddy, but I have to be productive while I'm here. And until I start getting paid to keep house, I guess I'll have to face facts and start the job hunt. Again.
Proof is in the pudding
After months of procrastination and laziness (hey, why not be honest?), I'm finally finishing projects that I've started. It's sad, really... I've always been someone who can beat deadlines and actually enjoy pressure when I work, but when it comes to *this* - working on my own stuff - I've been pretty lax on finishing what I start.
Project #1 - A new background for my Twitter page. I've been meaning to do this for a while, probably since I signed up 3+ years ago (yep, I was an early joiner... and then forgot about it completely for 2+ years). I've been so used to doing what could be described as bland and lifeless designs for so long, thanks to my many years in print, that something like this takes me forever to do. Newsprint is horrible to work with - inks set differently, you have to hope and pray that your paper is at a good spot on the press run that it doesn't turn reds to orange or blues to grey. The few times I've worked with glossy or digital, I've gone with more gradients and levels of opacity. I like the final result here, but I'm sure I'll change it.
Project #2 - New blog banner. I've been working on this for quite a while. I didn't want something that stuck out like a sore thumb or too flashy, but also something that wasn't too boring or mundane. I'm not 100% happy with what the end result is, but it is infinitely better than what was there before. I've worked on some parts of the layout of the blog, too, to match up with the new banner. Not totally set on what I've done there, either, but it's a work in progress.
Project #3 - Maddy's summer clothes. My mom taught me how to sew when I was in Brownies. She made a good portion of the clothes my sister and I wore until she went back to work when I was 10. I did fairly well in the sewing portion of Home Ec in grade 8 and have been sewing recreationally - mostly repairs to jeans and work uniforms - since. My dad got my mom a new sewing machine about 10 years ago and I inherited her old (like 30+ years) Singer machine. I like the idea of creating something that is actually useable - clothing is way to expensive in the stores when you can whip together a shirt in an afternoon for a fraction of the price. Like this material - I hit the local fabric store this weekend during their 50% sale. There's enough material there to make 10-12, if not more, summer shirts/dresses for Maddy. Total cost? $28, including tax and the $8 spool of thread... so basically $20 for the material to make what would normally cost me $120+ in the stores. I'm determined to make as many of Maddy's clothes until she vehemently protests, which I figure is by the time she's 13.
I'm aiming to start using this blog better, highlighting more of my work and plans. Now that I've got two projects down, I should be able to work on my ever-growing to-do list of things I want to get done. I've been trying to figure out how to work on my 'stuff' while being a stay-at-home mom with a 1 year old. Time is always short, but as Maddy keeps developing and growing, she's able to play more by herself on her side of the gate without needing me every second of the day. She's trying to go down to 1 nap a day, which has been a massive adjustment for everyone, so what little time I had to myself is even less now. But I don't hold a grudge against her for any of this - it's teaching me how to be more efficient and organized if anything. And being more organized is something I desperately needed to learn.
I think things are going well. I just need to stick with it and not get disheartened by any slowdowns. *fingers crossed*
Project #2 - New blog banner. I've been working on this for quite a while. I didn't want something that stuck out like a sore thumb or too flashy, but also something that wasn't too boring or mundane. I'm not 100% happy with what the end result is, but it is infinitely better than what was there before. I've worked on some parts of the layout of the blog, too, to match up with the new banner. Not totally set on what I've done there, either, but it's a work in progress.
I'm aiming to start using this blog better, highlighting more of my work and plans. Now that I've got two projects down, I should be able to work on my ever-growing to-do list of things I want to get done. I've been trying to figure out how to work on my 'stuff' while being a stay-at-home mom with a 1 year old. Time is always short, but as Maddy keeps developing and growing, she's able to play more by herself on her side of the gate without needing me every second of the day. She's trying to go down to 1 nap a day, which has been a massive adjustment for everyone, so what little time I had to myself is even less now. But I don't hold a grudge against her for any of this - it's teaching me how to be more efficient and organized if anything. And being more organized is something I desperately needed to learn.
I think things are going well. I just need to stick with it and not get disheartened by any slowdowns. *fingers crossed*
Snail's pace
It's been a pretty busy week for me. Maddy and I both ended up with the flu, we celebrated her first birthday with most of our family and Keith's been gone covering the Scotties for the paper. Even after a few years of him having to leave for a week at a time, three times (sometimes more) a year, it's still an adjustment. I will admit, though, that his absence this year is much, much easier to deal with than last year's - he had to leave for the first provincial bonspiel only a few weeks after Maddy was born. And because I live in Manitoba, and it was January, leaving the house with a tiny baby just for fun was out of the question.
But even with the slight chaos around here, I've managed to get a few things 'done'. I've updated my Monster and Workopolis profiles. I'm about 90% finished the two posters I'm going to put up around town, hopefully drumming up some local business. I still have to compose the ad(s) I'm going to submit to a local classified website. There's a deadline I've set - the end of January - to get some work and I'm determined to hit it. If I don't, back to work for me.
I do want this to work, though... even though a lot of my friends (and perhaps family, but they're more subtle about it) think it's a phase and that I'll snap out of it soon and get back to work. I'm not desperate to prove them wrong, but it's getting really, really frustrating trying to convince them that I do want to do this and I can do this. It'd just be nice to have some support, that's all.
My biggest fear, when this all gets off the ground, is that I will end up spreading myself too thin. It's a habit that's probably not going to be easy to break - I like to be busy and, more often than not, will bite off way more than I can chew. For the most part, I can usually keep up with everything, but now that I've got a child and everything that goes along with being the stay-at-home parent, I don't have access to all 24 hours of the day. It's going to take some time to figure out the priorities every day.
But things are progressing. Not quite at the speed I had hoped, but they're going forward, and at this point that's the main thing. Just can't let them stall or else I may as well just go out and get that job at McDonald's that my parents think I'm going to end up at anyway.
But even with the slight chaos around here, I've managed to get a few things 'done'. I've updated my Monster and Workopolis profiles. I'm about 90% finished the two posters I'm going to put up around town, hopefully drumming up some local business. I still have to compose the ad(s) I'm going to submit to a local classified website. There's a deadline I've set - the end of January - to get some work and I'm determined to hit it. If I don't, back to work for me.
I do want this to work, though... even though a lot of my friends (and perhaps family, but they're more subtle about it) think it's a phase and that I'll snap out of it soon and get back to work. I'm not desperate to prove them wrong, but it's getting really, really frustrating trying to convince them that I do want to do this and I can do this. It'd just be nice to have some support, that's all.
My biggest fear, when this all gets off the ground, is that I will end up spreading myself too thin. It's a habit that's probably not going to be easy to break - I like to be busy and, more often than not, will bite off way more than I can chew. For the most part, I can usually keep up with everything, but now that I've got a child and everything that goes along with being the stay-at-home parent, I don't have access to all 24 hours of the day. It's going to take some time to figure out the priorities every day.
But things are progressing. Not quite at the speed I had hoped, but they're going forward, and at this point that's the main thing. Just can't let them stall or else I may as well just go out and get that job at McDonald's that my parents think I'm going to end up at anyway.
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