Moderately overwhelmed

It's been a busy week with my sister visiting and a public health nurse appointment for our daughter and bloodwork for me and Keith going out of town. And now it's Saturday evening, Maddy's having her last nap of the day and I'm puttering about, trying to keep my slowly-eroding momentum going so I can stay up until 9pm or so.

I hate being this tired and exhausted. It seems like it will never end, that I'll never have energy again. I'm fed up with wanting to sleep - not nap - at 3pm every day. I don't remember the last time I slept for more than 3 hours at a time - it may have been a year ago. Long story, short - I'm on meds that aren't working and I don't know if they ever will.

But on a much (hopefully) happier note, I'm in the process of figuring out how I can legitimately stay at home with our daughter once I (hopefully) quit my job come December. Realistically, I will still probably work, but it will be part-time. There is no way, logistically, for me to work full-time - if I were to get a full-time job, I would have to get 2 because I'd have to pay for daycare. Keith's shifts are such that don't allow for one parent to be home taking care of Maddy while the other works. It just won't work. I did not have Maddy to let someone else raise her, at a cost to our family, both financially and personally.

But that whole can of worms is for another day.

I've mentioned previously that I was starting to get into crafts lately. Well, I'm seriously - like, dead - thinking of making this interest in crafts a sort-of, half-assed, maybe-kinda line of income. I know it's incredibly risky, but it's not like I've already quit my job and sunk what little savings I have into this idea. It's something that I'm going to work on, taking time and money into consideration, before I make an absolute final decision. Should I actually do this - this attempt to sell what I think people might want for knick-knacks - I want to do it right. And successfully.

So that's where I've been for a while. My mind's been full and would love a break from everything for a bit, but life just won't let me. May as well put it to good use, I guess.

Private exposure

I tend to be a creature of habit. For example, every Sunday morning, after I put my daughter down for her nap, I grab my breakfast and flip through my usual websites. Once I'm done my cereal, I go to Post Secret to read the latest secrets. I can only do this while eating toast and drinking coffee on Sunday mornings - this has been a ritual for the last two and a half years, since I lived in northern BC. (just an aside - wow, is that an awesome looking website... my city's website is crap. Looks like a 12 year old designed it.)

I've always enjoyed reading the secrets that people send in - some I can connect with, others are just so personal and heart-wrenching that I feel kind of bad for having been let into their lives for a brief few seconds. But it's an interesting experiement in social behaviours, I think. Allow people, anonymously, to say what they really, really, really need to in a forum that allows the reader to possibly connect with their secret and maybe, just maybe, their lives will improve for having said what needed to be said.

Everyone has secrets. I do. It's human nature, I think, to try to keep a small part of yourself from being exposed for everyone to see. Humans are far to judgemental for everyone to be completely honest and open all the time. It'd be incredibly tiring and frustrating to live like that - having everyone know everything about everyone else. Although, with social networking like Facebook and Twitter, how many secrets are people really keeping these days?