It's been a pretty busy week for me. Maddy and I both ended up with the flu, we celebrated her first birthday with most of our family and Keith's been gone covering the Scotties for the paper. Even after a few years of him having to leave for a week at a time, three times (sometimes more) a year, it's still an adjustment. I will admit, though, that his absence this year is much, much easier to deal with than last year's - he had to leave for the first provincial bonspiel only a few weeks after Maddy was born. And because I live in Manitoba, and it was January, leaving the house with a tiny baby just for fun was out of the question.
But even with the slight chaos around here, I've managed to get a few things 'done'. I've updated my Monster and Workopolis profiles. I'm about 90% finished the two posters I'm going to put up around town, hopefully drumming up some local business. I still have to compose the ad(s) I'm going to submit to a local classified website. There's a deadline I've set - the end of January - to get some work and I'm determined to hit it. If I don't, back to work for me.
I do want this to work, though... even though a lot of my friends (and perhaps family, but they're more subtle about it) think it's a phase and that I'll snap out of it soon and get back to work. I'm not desperate to prove them wrong, but it's getting really, really frustrating trying to convince them that I do want to do this and I can do this. It'd just be nice to have some support, that's all.
My biggest fear, when this all gets off the ground, is that I will end up spreading myself too thin. It's a habit that's probably not going to be easy to break - I like to be busy and, more often than not, will bite off way more than I can chew. For the most part, I can usually keep up with everything, but now that I've got a child and everything that goes along with being the stay-at-home parent, I don't have access to all 24 hours of the day. It's going to take some time to figure out the priorities every day.
But things are progressing. Not quite at the speed I had hoped, but they're going forward, and at this point that's the main thing. Just can't let them stall or else I may as well just go out and get that job at McDonald's that my parents think I'm going to end up at anyway.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Sticking my toe in the water
I've been spending a fair amount of 'free' time I have lately trying to find inspiration to get moving on my somewhat-potentially-misguided attempt at working for myself. I've been scouring various - 100+ plus at this point - design blogs, looking for something to make me go 'I can do that. In fact, I can do it better!' in hopes that I will, in fact, do something that is better.
I am not a fan of replication. I have no problem with variation, but trying to do something someone else has done without even trying to put your own style on it? That's not design; that's no better than plagiarism, and as a journalist in a former life, that's completely sacreligious. A big no-no. I like to be inspired to do something fresh and new, not something that looks like 15 other things out there.
And there will be an occasional case where something I come up with will be quite similar to someone else's product, but it is more than likely pure coincidence, and not an attempt to move in on their territory. I know what I like, and I know my skill level. There are a lot of things out there I have no hopes of replicating or want to. I don't like frou-frou stuff, but I do have a great admiration for a lot of pre-WWII art and will take full advantage of being influenced by it.
As for the blogs I've been scouring, I've bookmarked a lot of them here. One day, I'll try to get around to including them on my blog as a permanent, always-evolving list, but for now, this is the easiest method. And because I'm not only a graphic designer but a crafter, too, there are a small, but growing, number of non-GD blogs I've got on that list. I want to try my hand at jewelry design sometime in the next year and would like to start sewing more, but as with everything else in my life right now, time is not on my side. But with a little organization and help from Keith and my mom (and anyone else who's willing), I should be able to set aside some time to actually work on my products. *fingers crossed*
I am not a fan of replication. I have no problem with variation, but trying to do something someone else has done without even trying to put your own style on it? That's not design; that's no better than plagiarism, and as a journalist in a former life, that's completely sacreligious. A big no-no. I like to be inspired to do something fresh and new, not something that looks like 15 other things out there.
And there will be an occasional case where something I come up with will be quite similar to someone else's product, but it is more than likely pure coincidence, and not an attempt to move in on their territory. I know what I like, and I know my skill level. There are a lot of things out there I have no hopes of replicating or want to. I don't like frou-frou stuff, but I do have a great admiration for a lot of pre-WWII art and will take full advantage of being influenced by it.
As for the blogs I've been scouring, I've bookmarked a lot of them here. One day, I'll try to get around to including them on my blog as a permanent, always-evolving list, but for now, this is the easiest method. And because I'm not only a graphic designer but a crafter, too, there are a small, but growing, number of non-GD blogs I've got on that list. I want to try my hand at jewelry design sometime in the next year and would like to start sewing more, but as with everything else in my life right now, time is not on my side. But with a little organization and help from Keith and my mom (and anyone else who's willing), I should be able to set aside some time to actually work on my products. *fingers crossed*
Sunday morning
First off, two (re)finds of the day:
1000 Awesome Things - I haven't had a chance to go through the entire site, but just based on the first page, I can definitely say it's awesome. Came across the link at PostSecret.
FOUND Magazine - I remember spending an entire afternoon at one of my design jobs going through this site, reading other people's shopping lists and love notes and just random bits of paper. I often wonder what other people think of notes that I've dropped while shopping or walking, and if one of them will end up on this site one day.
It's an untypical Sunday around our house. Keith is off to the big city for the celebration of a family friend who is dying of cancer so Maddy and I will hang out with my mom for the afternoon. In reality, my mom will play with Maddy - or chase her, as she's started to walk lately - while I clean the house in anticipation of Keith's parents' visit this week.
Typically, Sundays are relaxing days. I try to keep the TV off for as long as I can when Maddy's up so she can play with her toys (or me) instead of getting distracted by the picture box. Today, with my mom here, the TV will likely be on more than I want, but it happens and I'm not going to get upset by it.
Another reason I've been trying the more music-less TV scheme is Maddy's attrocious sleep patterns. She sleeps fairly well during the day, 2 naps, usually 1.5-2 hours each. It's the overnight sleep that's the issue... well, still the issue, even after 10 months. There's so many back issues with her sleep that I just don't want to go into, but we've been working with her for a few months now to get her to sleep through the night. I have had success twice - only 2 times in 3 months has she slept straight from the time we put her down at 9pm and stayed asleep until 6am.
Her usual sleep pattern through the night is bed at 9pm, awake at 12 or 1 and up, fussing, crying or attempting to play until 2 or 3 and then co-sleeping with me until 6am. I'm done with co-sleeping; it's gotten to where she sleeps and I don't. I go back to work in 3 weeks. Co-sleeping has to end and it has to be now.
We tried the cry it out method to little success. I mean, it has worked in some ways - she went from sleeping in 45 minute stretches to 3 or so hours and being able to fall asleep in her crib rather than us holding her, but otherwise it was a pretty big failure. I don't take blame for it, nor do I blame Maddy, but I do place a fair share of blame on the public health nurses we had when she was born. (For more of a background on this, see this post.) With me going back to work so soon, I've become so frustrated with her and her inability to sleep at night that I've passed the job of 'fixing' her sleep off to Keith. I don't recommend this method to everyone, but in our case, and only our case, in my opinion, his method worked - he let her cry. For an hour. He was 10 feet away, in a different room, but he let her settle herself and she slept. I had a hard time waking her up this morning, in fact. But she slept. And that's the main thing.
Do I think we've messed her up by doing this? Hell no. I think she'd have much bigger problems if we let her sleep issues continue (and I'd have problems, too, with the sleep deprivation I've had for 10 months and going back to work and driving back and forth to work, but this is about Maddy), and we had discussed what we would do at length. I love her to pieces and would not hurt her on purpose. I think she feels the same way about her dad and I, too - she's still the same kid she was yesterday, with the exception of the walking. I don't think there will be any long-term ramifications from letting her cry herself to sleep. I refuse to be a helicopter parent and want her to be as independent as possible at this age. I will be there when she needs me, but she needs to start being her own little person, too.
1000 Awesome Things - I haven't had a chance to go through the entire site, but just based on the first page, I can definitely say it's awesome. Came across the link at PostSecret.
FOUND Magazine - I remember spending an entire afternoon at one of my design jobs going through this site, reading other people's shopping lists and love notes and just random bits of paper. I often wonder what other people think of notes that I've dropped while shopping or walking, and if one of them will end up on this site one day.
It's an untypical Sunday around our house. Keith is off to the big city for the celebration of a family friend who is dying of cancer so Maddy and I will hang out with my mom for the afternoon. In reality, my mom will play with Maddy - or chase her, as she's started to walk lately - while I clean the house in anticipation of Keith's parents' visit this week.
Typically, Sundays are relaxing days. I try to keep the TV off for as long as I can when Maddy's up so she can play with her toys (or me) instead of getting distracted by the picture box. Today, with my mom here, the TV will likely be on more than I want, but it happens and I'm not going to get upset by it.
Another reason I've been trying the more music-less TV scheme is Maddy's attrocious sleep patterns. She sleeps fairly well during the day, 2 naps, usually 1.5-2 hours each. It's the overnight sleep that's the issue... well, still the issue, even after 10 months. There's so many back issues with her sleep that I just don't want to go into, but we've been working with her for a few months now to get her to sleep through the night. I have had success twice - only 2 times in 3 months has she slept straight from the time we put her down at 9pm and stayed asleep until 6am.
Her usual sleep pattern through the night is bed at 9pm, awake at 12 or 1 and up, fussing, crying or attempting to play until 2 or 3 and then co-sleeping with me until 6am. I'm done with co-sleeping; it's gotten to where she sleeps and I don't. I go back to work in 3 weeks. Co-sleeping has to end and it has to be now.
We tried the cry it out method to little success. I mean, it has worked in some ways - she went from sleeping in 45 minute stretches to 3 or so hours and being able to fall asleep in her crib rather than us holding her, but otherwise it was a pretty big failure. I don't take blame for it, nor do I blame Maddy, but I do place a fair share of blame on the public health nurses we had when she was born. (For more of a background on this, see this post.) With me going back to work so soon, I've become so frustrated with her and her inability to sleep at night that I've passed the job of 'fixing' her sleep off to Keith. I don't recommend this method to everyone, but in our case, and only our case, in my opinion, his method worked - he let her cry. For an hour. He was 10 feet away, in a different room, but he let her settle herself and she slept. I had a hard time waking her up this morning, in fact. But she slept. And that's the main thing.
Do I think we've messed her up by doing this? Hell no. I think she'd have much bigger problems if we let her sleep issues continue (and I'd have problems, too, with the sleep deprivation I've had for 10 months and going back to work and driving back and forth to work, but this is about Maddy), and we had discussed what we would do at length. I love her to pieces and would not hurt her on purpose. I think she feels the same way about her dad and I, too - she's still the same kid she was yesterday, with the exception of the walking. I don't think there will be any long-term ramifications from letting her cry herself to sleep. I refuse to be a helicopter parent and want her to be as independent as possible at this age. I will be there when she needs me, but she needs to start being her own little person, too.
Life
Things have been crazy lately - Keith gone for a week, Maddy growing so fast, my computer dying twice, doctor's appointments, yardwork... so, of course, I've put off a few things, like this blog.
Every time I think I should post something, 'life' happens. Right now, we're dealing with our daughter's sleep issues by using the Ferber method to help both her and us get a good night of sleep for the first time in almost 8 months. There's also the ongoing battle to organize the laundry room, our filing system and our finances. I'm still working on a plan to make some extra money this winter so I don't have to work full-time. And yet, life continues to roll on.
I have a pile of coupons that have to be clipped for our monthly shopping expedition next week, there's a pile of envelopes sitting beside my computer waiting to be opened (no bills, though, thankfully), and I know there's a million other things that I have to do to try to stay sane. Yet, I keep putting a lot of that stuff off, leaving me feeling very overwhelmed.
And no matter how many times I try to get organized, I fail. I don't know if it's a lack of knowledge about how to organize properly or if it's just laziness and cutting corners, but something has to be done so things aren't constantly being put aside, to do another day.
Perhaps today's the day I get organized. A girl can dream, can't she?
Every time I think I should post something, 'life' happens. Right now, we're dealing with our daughter's sleep issues by using the Ferber method to help both her and us get a good night of sleep for the first time in almost 8 months. There's also the ongoing battle to organize the laundry room, our filing system and our finances. I'm still working on a plan to make some extra money this winter so I don't have to work full-time. And yet, life continues to roll on.
I have a pile of coupons that have to be clipped for our monthly shopping expedition next week, there's a pile of envelopes sitting beside my computer waiting to be opened (no bills, though, thankfully), and I know there's a million other things that I have to do to try to stay sane. Yet, I keep putting a lot of that stuff off, leaving me feeling very overwhelmed.
And no matter how many times I try to get organized, I fail. I don't know if it's a lack of knowledge about how to organize properly or if it's just laziness and cutting corners, but something has to be done so things aren't constantly being put aside, to do another day.
Perhaps today's the day I get organized. A girl can dream, can't she?
Moderately overwhelmed
It's been a busy week with my sister visiting and a public health nurse appointment for our daughter and bloodwork for me and Keith going out of town. And now it's Saturday evening, Maddy's having her last nap of the day and I'm puttering about, trying to keep my slowly-eroding momentum going so I can stay up until 9pm or so.
I hate being this tired and exhausted. It seems like it will never end, that I'll never have energy again. I'm fed up with wanting to sleep - not nap - at 3pm every day. I don't remember the last time I slept for more than 3 hours at a time - it may have been a year ago. Long story, short - I'm on meds that aren't working and I don't know if they ever will.
But on a much (hopefully) happier note, I'm in the process of figuring out how I can legitimately stay at home with our daughter once I (hopefully) quit my job come December. Realistically, I will still probably work, but it will be part-time. There is no way, logistically, for me to work full-time - if I were to get a full-time job, I would have to get 2 because I'd have to pay for daycare. Keith's shifts are such that don't allow for one parent to be home taking care of Maddy while the other works. It just won't work. I did not have Maddy to let someone else raise her, at a cost to our family, both financially and personally.
But that whole can of worms is for another day.
I've mentioned previously that I was starting to get into crafts lately. Well, I'm seriously - like, dead - thinking of making this interest in crafts a sort-of, half-assed, maybe-kinda line of income. I know it's incredibly risky, but it's not like I've already quit my job and sunk what little savings I have into this idea. It's something that I'm going to work on, taking time and money into consideration, before I make an absolute final decision. Should I actually do this - this attempt to sell what I think people might want for knick-knacks - I want to do it right. And successfully.
So that's where I've been for a while. My mind's been full and would love a break from everything for a bit, but life just won't let me. May as well put it to good use, I guess.
I hate being this tired and exhausted. It seems like it will never end, that I'll never have energy again. I'm fed up with wanting to sleep - not nap - at 3pm every day. I don't remember the last time I slept for more than 3 hours at a time - it may have been a year ago. Long story, short - I'm on meds that aren't working and I don't know if they ever will.
But on a much (hopefully) happier note, I'm in the process of figuring out how I can legitimately stay at home with our daughter once I (hopefully) quit my job come December. Realistically, I will still probably work, but it will be part-time. There is no way, logistically, for me to work full-time - if I were to get a full-time job, I would have to get 2 because I'd have to pay for daycare. Keith's shifts are such that don't allow for one parent to be home taking care of Maddy while the other works. It just won't work. I did not have Maddy to let someone else raise her, at a cost to our family, both financially and personally.
But that whole can of worms is for another day.
I've mentioned previously that I was starting to get into crafts lately. Well, I'm seriously - like, dead - thinking of making this interest in crafts a sort-of, half-assed, maybe-kinda line of income. I know it's incredibly risky, but it's not like I've already quit my job and sunk what little savings I have into this idea. It's something that I'm going to work on, taking time and money into consideration, before I make an absolute final decision. Should I actually do this - this attempt to sell what I think people might want for knick-knacks - I want to do it right. And successfully.
So that's where I've been for a while. My mind's been full and would love a break from everything for a bit, but life just won't let me. May as well put it to good use, I guess.
To sleep, perchance to dream...
I know that all parents tend to gloss over the bad parts of child-rearing and like to over-embelish their children's accomplishments. I understand that; what gets me is when I'm trying to solve an issue with our daughter all I find is 'My child's perfect - what's wrong with yours/you?'.
I'm the first to admit that not attending pre-natal classes was perhaps a mistake. However, I was not going to attend a class where it was drilled into parents-to-be that if you did not follow their 'rules', you were a bad parent. I did a lot of research before our daughter was born, both virtual and personal. I read books and talked to moms about potential issues. I was rarely told negative stories, except when it came to delivery stories. For some reason, women seem to love playing the 'one-up' game with this aspect of pregnancy more than anything else.
Our daughter has major sleep issues. She can sleep during the day with virtually no problems. True, she does wake up on occasion, but we can usually get her back down fairly easily. At night, though, we seem to be losing the battle. I don't know what we did - it might be the darkness of her room or a hatred of the blankets we put on her. It's more likely that this sleep problem began when she was 3 days old.
Maddy was born with a not-quite-severe case of jaundice. It was something that was regularly monitored in the hospital, but it never got out of hand while we were in there. In fact, we were kept in an extra day because of it and the issues I was having with breastfeeding (I can't, physically). She also lost a fair bit of weight right off the bat, too - 5% is the norm, 10% is high risk; Maddy rose from 7% to 9% in just a couple of days after coming home from the hospital. I attribute this to the lack of food she was getting - I couldn't breastfeed, but was still trying, as well as supplementing her with formula (5 ml a feeling at that point).
The first Public Health nurse who visited our house the day after I got out of the hospital had a slightly-less-than-perfect bedside manner. I felt like I was being criticized over everything, especially about the breasfeeding. I was on Domperidone to help bring my milk in, but it wasn't working. Maddy had lost almost a pound by the nurse's first visit and their solution was to feed - and wake - her every 2 hours. They wanted me to feed her, even if she was sound asleep, at 7am, 9am, 11am, etc.
I thought it was ridiculous. My mom thought it was ridiculous. Our doctor, when we saw him for Maddy's first checkup 2 weeks later, thought it was ridiculous, but the damage, in my mind, was already done.
Within a week of the first nurse's visit, we had 3 more visits, all by different nurses. I had to go over our story for every single one of them - apparently, they don't read their files (or, in a more conspiracy-theory line of thought, they want to see if they can catch new moms up in their stories to see if they're following orders). Every time, they weighed Maddy, clucked over the lack of weight gain and lectured me on breastfeeding. By this time it was very apparent I wasn't going to be able to, but I, being a stubborn Scot, was determined to keep trying. This lead to massive bouts of stress for both Maddy and I.
We were now up to a 3-hour waking/feeding schedule. I wasn't supposed to let her sleep if it was her time to eat. It would routinely take over an hour to feed her, and by the end of it, she wasn't ready to sleep at all. I was lucky if she would sleep for 30 minutes. We had a lot of rough, rough days in her first month but we made it through. Somehow.
By March, I was at the end of my rope. We bought The Baby Whisperer for help. It did, at first, mainly by pointing out that swaddling was the way to go. I should have known this from the get go, but Maddy certainly didn't enjoy being swaddled in the hospital, so I stopped doing it once we got home. I'm coinvinced now that Maddy's a hot sleeper - she kicks off any blankets we put on her now and hates being hot - and the warmed layers of blankets they swaddled her with in the hospital turned her against swaddling.
The more I read The Baby Whisperer, the more I got confused. I would read ahead to see what we should expect in the next stage of Maddy's life and she'd contradict - at least in my mind - what she'd said previously. I got more and more frustrated with the book and finally stopped using it as a reference when she suggested a very contradictory feeding/napping schedule for when Maddy turned 4 months old.
Instead, I turned to my mom and the internet. I've always found BabyCentre Canada to be the best resource for me. (I've also used Health Canada on a regular basis, too.) I researched sleep issues and behavioural issues to see if there was a solution for us. I know that every baby is different, but with enough parents putting their experiences out there for the world to read, perhaps you can cobble together a few and it matches yours.
Every few weeks, I start my search on possible solutions over again. At this point, today, Maddy's not sleeping through the night. Not even close. I hate hearing about other parents and their wonderful children who sleep straight from 7pm to 7am. I call bullshit on that. I also call bullshit on parents who treat my child's problems as though they were conscious decisions on my part. I'm sure that not every parent is perfect, even if they think they are. I know that portraying yourself as the perfect parent and your child as an angel sent from above is the thing to do, but come on... all you're doing is making people like me, people who are good parents with minor-ish issues, second-guess ourselves and question our parenting.
I've lived in fear for the last 7 months, worrying that someone somewhere is going to take a look at my daughter and her eczema (definitely inherited from both of us) or her cradle cap or find out about her sleep patterns, and call the authorities. I know that we're good parents, she's a very happy baby (very much into blowing raspberries right now) and she's healthy. She eats like a horse and loves to move and play. She climbs and smiles and likes to laugh and has songs she likes and yes, we let her watch TV, but try to keep it to a minimum. She's a good baby. She just has a sleeping problem.
I'm the first to admit that not attending pre-natal classes was perhaps a mistake. However, I was not going to attend a class where it was drilled into parents-to-be that if you did not follow their 'rules', you were a bad parent. I did a lot of research before our daughter was born, both virtual and personal. I read books and talked to moms about potential issues. I was rarely told negative stories, except when it came to delivery stories. For some reason, women seem to love playing the 'one-up' game with this aspect of pregnancy more than anything else.
Our daughter has major sleep issues. She can sleep during the day with virtually no problems. True, she does wake up on occasion, but we can usually get her back down fairly easily. At night, though, we seem to be losing the battle. I don't know what we did - it might be the darkness of her room or a hatred of the blankets we put on her. It's more likely that this sleep problem began when she was 3 days old.
Maddy was born with a not-quite-severe case of jaundice. It was something that was regularly monitored in the hospital, but it never got out of hand while we were in there. In fact, we were kept in an extra day because of it and the issues I was having with breastfeeding (I can't, physically). She also lost a fair bit of weight right off the bat, too - 5% is the norm, 10% is high risk; Maddy rose from 7% to 9% in just a couple of days after coming home from the hospital. I attribute this to the lack of food she was getting - I couldn't breastfeed, but was still trying, as well as supplementing her with formula (5 ml a feeling at that point).
The first Public Health nurse who visited our house the day after I got out of the hospital had a slightly-less-than-perfect bedside manner. I felt like I was being criticized over everything, especially about the breasfeeding. I was on Domperidone to help bring my milk in, but it wasn't working. Maddy had lost almost a pound by the nurse's first visit and their solution was to feed - and wake - her every 2 hours. They wanted me to feed her, even if she was sound asleep, at 7am, 9am, 11am, etc.
I thought it was ridiculous. My mom thought it was ridiculous. Our doctor, when we saw him for Maddy's first checkup 2 weeks later, thought it was ridiculous, but the damage, in my mind, was already done.
Within a week of the first nurse's visit, we had 3 more visits, all by different nurses. I had to go over our story for every single one of them - apparently, they don't read their files (or, in a more conspiracy-theory line of thought, they want to see if they can catch new moms up in their stories to see if they're following orders). Every time, they weighed Maddy, clucked over the lack of weight gain and lectured me on breastfeeding. By this time it was very apparent I wasn't going to be able to, but I, being a stubborn Scot, was determined to keep trying. This lead to massive bouts of stress for both Maddy and I.
We were now up to a 3-hour waking/feeding schedule. I wasn't supposed to let her sleep if it was her time to eat. It would routinely take over an hour to feed her, and by the end of it, she wasn't ready to sleep at all. I was lucky if she would sleep for 30 minutes. We had a lot of rough, rough days in her first month but we made it through. Somehow.
By March, I was at the end of my rope. We bought The Baby Whisperer for help. It did, at first, mainly by pointing out that swaddling was the way to go. I should have known this from the get go, but Maddy certainly didn't enjoy being swaddled in the hospital, so I stopped doing it once we got home. I'm coinvinced now that Maddy's a hot sleeper - she kicks off any blankets we put on her now and hates being hot - and the warmed layers of blankets they swaddled her with in the hospital turned her against swaddling.
The more I read The Baby Whisperer, the more I got confused. I would read ahead to see what we should expect in the next stage of Maddy's life and she'd contradict - at least in my mind - what she'd said previously. I got more and more frustrated with the book and finally stopped using it as a reference when she suggested a very contradictory feeding/napping schedule for when Maddy turned 4 months old.
Instead, I turned to my mom and the internet. I've always found BabyCentre Canada to be the best resource for me. (I've also used Health Canada on a regular basis, too.) I researched sleep issues and behavioural issues to see if there was a solution for us. I know that every baby is different, but with enough parents putting their experiences out there for the world to read, perhaps you can cobble together a few and it matches yours.
Every few weeks, I start my search on possible solutions over again. At this point, today, Maddy's not sleeping through the night. Not even close. I hate hearing about other parents and their wonderful children who sleep straight from 7pm to 7am. I call bullshit on that. I also call bullshit on parents who treat my child's problems as though they were conscious decisions on my part. I'm sure that not every parent is perfect, even if they think they are. I know that portraying yourself as the perfect parent and your child as an angel sent from above is the thing to do, but come on... all you're doing is making people like me, people who are good parents with minor-ish issues, second-guess ourselves and question our parenting.
I've lived in fear for the last 7 months, worrying that someone somewhere is going to take a look at my daughter and her eczema (definitely inherited from both of us) or her cradle cap or find out about her sleep patterns, and call the authorities. I know that we're good parents, she's a very happy baby (very much into blowing raspberries right now) and she's healthy. She eats like a horse and loves to move and play. She climbs and smiles and likes to laugh and has songs she likes and yes, we let her watch TV, but try to keep it to a minimum. She's a good baby. She just has a sleeping problem.
Ooooh, crafty
Since I had our daughter in January, things have changed a lot. The usual changes - sleep, priorities, general organization of the house - were guaranteed to happen.
The one thing I didn't expect was an overwhelming desire to start crafting. And not simple crafts, either.
I've already pressed several flowers from our gardens to do shadow boxes. I'm planning on clipping fern and tree leaves to do a series of 'paintings' - basically just pressing the leaves into paint and then pressing them onto canvases. I'm going to start collecting paint chips (free!) to do some sort of collage. I've to a bunch of little wooden decorations (mainly animals) to colour for magnets, wall decorations or general knick-knacks.
There's still a couple of cross-stitch projects I need to finish that I started before she was born. There's a quilt I want to do this fall. I have a box of foam flowers and panels I've had sitting in a bag for months collecting dust.
One thing I will not do is scrapbooking. I don't understand it. I don't see the need to spend so much money on paper and little paper decorations for pages that hold one photo. When I was growing up, scrapbooking was something we did in school and all it involved was cutting out an article from the newspaper and taping it into the book with a little summary we wrote beside it. That's it. None of this fancy-schmancy lettering and stamps and cutters for us, oh no. All we had was lightly drawn lines so our summaries were written on somewhat straight lines. That and tape that dried out and yellowed within a year.
I don't begrudge scrapbookers. Everyone needs a creative outlet, but scrapbooking is not mine. No way, no how. I'll stick with my clumsy attempts at kitchy little things instead.
The one thing I didn't expect was an overwhelming desire to start crafting. And not simple crafts, either.
I've already pressed several flowers from our gardens to do shadow boxes. I'm planning on clipping fern and tree leaves to do a series of 'paintings' - basically just pressing the leaves into paint and then pressing them onto canvases. I'm going to start collecting paint chips (free!) to do some sort of collage. I've to a bunch of little wooden decorations (mainly animals) to colour for magnets, wall decorations or general knick-knacks.
There's still a couple of cross-stitch projects I need to finish that I started before she was born. There's a quilt I want to do this fall. I have a box of foam flowers and panels I've had sitting in a bag for months collecting dust.
One thing I will not do is scrapbooking. I don't understand it. I don't see the need to spend so much money on paper and little paper decorations for pages that hold one photo. When I was growing up, scrapbooking was something we did in school and all it involved was cutting out an article from the newspaper and taping it into the book with a little summary we wrote beside it. That's it. None of this fancy-schmancy lettering and stamps and cutters for us, oh no. All we had was lightly drawn lines so our summaries were written on somewhat straight lines. That and tape that dried out and yellowed within a year.
I don't begrudge scrapbookers. Everyone needs a creative outlet, but scrapbooking is not mine. No way, no how. I'll stick with my clumsy attempts at kitchy little things instead.
Sabbath
Ah, Sunday.
These days, it's just another day, taking care of our daughter, trying to keep some kind of semblance of normalcy.
I remember when I was younger where Sundays were actual distinguishable days from the rest of the week. Even with Sunday shopping becoming prevalent when I was a teenager, Sundays just had a different feel than the rest of the week. Perhaps it was because there was nothing on TV so we were forced to find something else to do, like read or - heaven forbid! - clean our rooms. Maybe it was because Sunday meant the last day before school started again for another week.
I liked Sundays as a kid. Sundays were much more relaxed and more often than not, meant a trip to our grandparents'. If we didn't go to our grandparents, we stayed home, and depending on our age, went to the school playground half a block away. If the weather wasn't cooperating, we stayed in our rooms and played or read our newly checked-out library books. Sunday dinner usually meant a roast with gravy, followed by The Wonderful World of Disney on CBC. Bath and bed shortly after, depending on our age.
These days, I can't distinguish Sunday from any other day other than the fact that Sesame Street isn't on at the usual 8am for our daughter to watch. Well, that and the fact that most - not all - stores aren't open until noon and close at either 5 or 6pm, but we rarely shop on Sundays anyway.
I want to return to the old days, where Sundays were different from the rest of the week. Where we could relax and not feel guilty about it. Not a day people use to catch up on the chores they've put off during the week. I guess, for lack of a better argument, I'm advocating using Sunday as a day of rest, as in, of all things, the Bible. I'm one of the last people to advocate for anything referenced in the Bible, but I guess anything is possible.
My plans for today include playing with our daughter, going for a walk and relaxing as much as one can with a 7-month old. It's a decent day out today (19ºC today, perhaps some showers later) so we should probably take advantage of it, rather than just wasting yet another day inside staring at a screen.
These days, it's just another day, taking care of our daughter, trying to keep some kind of semblance of normalcy.
I remember when I was younger where Sundays were actual distinguishable days from the rest of the week. Even with Sunday shopping becoming prevalent when I was a teenager, Sundays just had a different feel than the rest of the week. Perhaps it was because there was nothing on TV so we were forced to find something else to do, like read or - heaven forbid! - clean our rooms. Maybe it was because Sunday meant the last day before school started again for another week.
I liked Sundays as a kid. Sundays were much more relaxed and more often than not, meant a trip to our grandparents'. If we didn't go to our grandparents, we stayed home, and depending on our age, went to the school playground half a block away. If the weather wasn't cooperating, we stayed in our rooms and played or read our newly checked-out library books. Sunday dinner usually meant a roast with gravy, followed by The Wonderful World of Disney on CBC. Bath and bed shortly after, depending on our age.
These days, I can't distinguish Sunday from any other day other than the fact that Sesame Street isn't on at the usual 8am for our daughter to watch. Well, that and the fact that most - not all - stores aren't open until noon and close at either 5 or 6pm, but we rarely shop on Sundays anyway.
I want to return to the old days, where Sundays were different from the rest of the week. Where we could relax and not feel guilty about it. Not a day people use to catch up on the chores they've put off during the week. I guess, for lack of a better argument, I'm advocating using Sunday as a day of rest, as in, of all things, the Bible. I'm one of the last people to advocate for anything referenced in the Bible, but I guess anything is possible.
My plans for today include playing with our daughter, going for a walk and relaxing as much as one can with a 7-month old. It's a decent day out today (19ºC today, perhaps some showers later) so we should probably take advantage of it, rather than just wasting yet another day inside staring at a screen.
Looking ahead
I'm currently a graphic designer at a small community newspaper. Or at least, I am a graphic designer (and assistant editor, blargh) at a newspaper when I'm not on maternity leave. I haven't actually been at my job for 11 months. I've only been on mat leave for 9 months. I had 3 months of sick leave before my mat leave started thanks to an absolutely crazy blood pressure issue (also known as pre-eclampsia, which I was never officially diagnosed with, but things were getting scary for a bit there).
Anyhoo... my point is I don't want to be a graphic designer (or editor) anymore. I like graphic design, I really do. I find design to be quite facinating and even though I have no 'formal' training (13+ years of hands-on learning and experience), I've grown to appreciate various forms of design and still find myself dissecting ads and graphic works on occasion. I used to visit Notcot.org and the CDR on a daily basis, but since I've been off work, it's more often than not that I forget about them until I've gone through every other site that I regularly visit.
So what do I plan on doing to make a living? Well, for the short term, I plan to return to my job after my mat leave and then quit after fulfilling the required amount of time I have to (it's a stupid set up - I think it's 2 weeks, but if I don't go back at all, I owe them all the 'top up' pay they paid me while I was on my leave. Stupid...). After that, I'm going to likely be working, again, at a local family restaurant that I've been working at for 11 years, off and on. I like it there, my bosses are fabulous and I'm pretty sure I can just step in and pick up where I left off (after learning about the new quirky menu).
I'm planning on attending the culinary school here next fall as well. I've already been accepted once - for this fall - but can't attend because I'm still on leave and I don't think it would work for this year. My finances aren't ready and there's the child care issue, not to mention the fact I have to go back to work in December for the aforementioned reason. So I've pushed it off until next year. The good part of this is I now know roughly how much it will cost for everything, including the non-tuition part, so I can start figuring out how I'm paying for it.
Why culinary school? Why not? I like to cook. I like to bake. I've been cooking since I was a little kid - I used to make denvers for breakfast when I was 7 or 8, using the plug-in frying pan. I've been baking since I was in Brownies. I'm addicted to the Food Network. It's kind of like gardening - you know you're accomplishing something. Everyone needs to eat, so why not provide that service for them?
And there's the point that, upon graduation, I should - in theory - make more than I do/did at the restaurant. However, my plans for after graduation may not bring in much more than I make/made when I do work at the restaurant.
I don't want to work in a restaurant ever again after graduation. I would much rather be on my own, catering or doing specialty cooking. I don't want to get bogged down working for someone else and their ideas. Essentially, I'm going to school to learn more about cooking than trying to get a better position at the local steakhouse or a ski resort (which is where a good chunk of the grads from this program end up).
I have a couple of ideas. I want to be an almost-boutique dainty-maker. I want to be able to provide my services to people who can't (or are afraid to) cook for their loved ones for special occasions. I have no idea how to get to either of these points, even upon graduation, but give me enough time, and I'll have researched both ideas to death. And hopefully come up with a game plan.
I guess in the end, I'll still be doing a bit of design, even if it is with food. Stick with what you know, I guess ;)
Anyhoo... my point is I don't want to be a graphic designer (or editor) anymore. I like graphic design, I really do. I find design to be quite facinating and even though I have no 'formal' training (13+ years of hands-on learning and experience), I've grown to appreciate various forms of design and still find myself dissecting ads and graphic works on occasion. I used to visit Notcot.org and the CDR on a daily basis, but since I've been off work, it's more often than not that I forget about them until I've gone through every other site that I regularly visit.
So what do I plan on doing to make a living? Well, for the short term, I plan to return to my job after my mat leave and then quit after fulfilling the required amount of time I have to (it's a stupid set up - I think it's 2 weeks, but if I don't go back at all, I owe them all the 'top up' pay they paid me while I was on my leave. Stupid...). After that, I'm going to likely be working, again, at a local family restaurant that I've been working at for 11 years, off and on. I like it there, my bosses are fabulous and I'm pretty sure I can just step in and pick up where I left off (after learning about the new quirky menu).
I'm planning on attending the culinary school here next fall as well. I've already been accepted once - for this fall - but can't attend because I'm still on leave and I don't think it would work for this year. My finances aren't ready and there's the child care issue, not to mention the fact I have to go back to work in December for the aforementioned reason. So I've pushed it off until next year. The good part of this is I now know roughly how much it will cost for everything, including the non-tuition part, so I can start figuring out how I'm paying for it.
Why culinary school? Why not? I like to cook. I like to bake. I've been cooking since I was a little kid - I used to make denvers for breakfast when I was 7 or 8, using the plug-in frying pan. I've been baking since I was in Brownies. I'm addicted to the Food Network. It's kind of like gardening - you know you're accomplishing something. Everyone needs to eat, so why not provide that service for them?
And there's the point that, upon graduation, I should - in theory - make more than I do/did at the restaurant. However, my plans for after graduation may not bring in much more than I make/made when I do work at the restaurant.
I don't want to work in a restaurant ever again after graduation. I would much rather be on my own, catering or doing specialty cooking. I don't want to get bogged down working for someone else and their ideas. Essentially, I'm going to school to learn more about cooking than trying to get a better position at the local steakhouse or a ski resort (which is where a good chunk of the grads from this program end up).
I have a couple of ideas. I want to be an almost-boutique dainty-maker. I want to be able to provide my services to people who can't (or are afraid to) cook for their loved ones for special occasions. I have no idea how to get to either of these points, even upon graduation, but give me enough time, and I'll have researched both ideas to death. And hopefully come up with a game plan.
I guess in the end, I'll still be doing a bit of design, even if it is with food. Stick with what you know, I guess ;)
This is what I have to look forward to?
I don't think 10 year old boys are supposed to mock their moms in public.
Heck, I'm 32 and I'm not allowed to mock my mom in public without risking a quick whack with her purse.
Eep.
Also, playing with rakes? As swords? Yeah, no.
And this is a prime example of why discipline is a good thing. It makes me wonder what parents who refuse to discipline (and I don't mean beat - I mean discipline, actual lesson learning) think when they let their kids do whatever they damn well please and then have consequences like hospital visits or the cops showing up, holding little Tommy or Susy by the collar. It boggles the mind.
But to each their own, apparently. Perhaps one day our daughter will be a well-educated lawyer, prosecuting these little hellions. One can dream :)
Heck, I'm 32 and I'm not allowed to mock my mom in public without risking a quick whack with her purse.
Eep.
Also, playing with rakes? As swords? Yeah, no.
And this is a prime example of why discipline is a good thing. It makes me wonder what parents who refuse to discipline (and I don't mean beat - I mean discipline, actual lesson learning) think when they let their kids do whatever they damn well please and then have consequences like hospital visits or the cops showing up, holding little Tommy or Susy by the collar. It boggles the mind.
But to each their own, apparently. Perhaps one day our daughter will be a well-educated lawyer, prosecuting these little hellions. One can dream :)
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